


Could you be happy here with me?

by Jollysailorswan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, S3 finale compliant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 04:06:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11935971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jollysailorswan/pseuds/Jollysailorswan
Summary: A moment right after they find out Snow is still alive.





	Could you be happy here with me?

 It was under the darkness of the night that Killian’s thoughts started to wonder to darker and more hopeless places. Snow was alive and well, sleeping two logs away from him, the ring was safe in the Prince’s possession and Emma was free from her grief. He watched her by his place beside the fire as she slept. He thought of the past few days and how they had worked together to ensure her future and their own timeline. He remembered her tearstained face as they left Regina’s castle. The scene of Snow burning in the fire of the Evil Queen’s hatred would be forever etched in his memories so he couldn’t even think of what result it would have on Emma’s psych.

Her sleeping form trembled from the cold and she folded her body in on itself, trying to find protection from the chill air of the night. The fire wasn’t doing much and they couldn’t afford to attract any beasts or more black knights, so they kept it barely burning. Killian stood up and took off his coat, the one Rumplestiltskin had given him, and covered Emma, hoping that it would shield her from the cold. She seemed to relax immediately. Her comfort eased his heart and his mind. He sat back down against a log close to the fire and returned to his dark thoughts.

His worst fear was that they wouldn’t find a way to get back to their own time. The Dark One had assured the assistance of a certain wand that would probably reopen the portal but he knew that things usually didn’t go as planned. There was a great chance that he and Emma would be forever trapped in this time without a way back to Storybrooke.

He didn’t fear for himself. He knew the life of the Enchanted Forest, he didn’t even have to adapt to it since he had lived here for most of his life. His only concerns were for his Swan. This world was very different from the Land Without Magic. It lacked all the comforts that one could be spoiled with while living in New York or even Storybrooke. Danger larked in every corner and soon Regina would enact the Dark curse. They would have to outrun it or they would end up trapped in Storybrooke with no memories. That would definitely complicate their timeline.

However, the fact that his Swan would be once again ripped away from her family, and this time forever, was what tore at his heart. She wouldn’t be able to bare the separation from her son. She would blame herself for abandoning him again, though that was not the case at all. He didn’t really know the despair of losing a child but he had witnessed it first-hand with Milah. No one can replace the love for a child and he knew how much Emma loved Henry. As for her parents, he didn’t believe for a minute that she would be able to leave them behind and go to New York so she would miss them too. For once, he wished that she had actually left Storybrooke the moment Zelena was defeated so that she wouldn’t have to face this fate. A fate far worse than living a few miles away from your family.

He sighed and put his hand over his eyes, closing them tightly and trying to keep his mind to more positive things. Negativity wouldn’t help them anyway so he should probably maintain a more uplifting attitude for Emma’s sake. He didn’t want her to witness his forlorn thoughts and lose all hope that they would return to Storybrooke.

As he was trying to force himself to sleep, he felt someone sitting down beside him. It was undeniably Emma and he wondered if he had woken her up while placing his coat over her.

“Why are you still awake?” she asked in a small voice, as if she was afraid of his answer.

He opened his eyes to look at her. She was so close to him, their bodies touching from foot to shoulder, her hands keeping his coat around her tightly.

“I can’t quiet my mind, Swan,” he said quietly. “Too much has happened in the last few days and everything is a bloody mess inside my head.”

Emma kept her eyes on him, reading him as she usually does with such ease that one would think they’ve known each other from eve. She knows he’s not lying but she also understands that there is more behind his words. She turns to the fire and reaches out to hold his hand in hers. They stay there for a while, swallowed by the night, the cracking of the fire the only sound except their racing heartbeats. She is taking a leap of faith in that precious moment, one that equals in power the moment she decided to trust him and drink the memory potion, and he appreciates her attempt at easing his anxiety.

“Do you think that there is a chance we won’t be able to go back?”

Killian is not surprised that she voices the question that keeps echoing in his mind. He takes a minute to answer her, because he doesn’t want to lie. He doesn’t want to give her any reason to not trust him but on the other hand he wants to keep her hopes alive.

“It is a very likely concept, Swan,” he said trying to sound as neutral on the matter as possible.

He heard her taking in a deep breath, preparing herself for the conversation they were about to have.

“You don’t trust Rumplestiltskin.”

“He has never given me or you a good reason to do so.”

She knew that he was right to not trust him. Maybe back in Storybrooke, Mr. Gold would be more likely to really help them and not backstab them instead. But in Dark One mode, Rumplestiltskin was unpredictable.

“Emma?”

“Yes?”

He looked straight into her eyes, dreading the words that were about to come out of his mouth but being unable to keep the question from falling from his lips.

“Could you be happy here with me?”

Her breath caught on the lump in her throat. The tears fell down her cheeks for the second time that day and she tried to smile. She couldn’t answer him and he knew it. The eyes said all that was needed between them.

_I know._

_I can’t. I’m sorry._

_We won’t stop trying. I promise._

_It’s not the same._

_I promise._

Even if it wasn’t said, he knew she trusted his silent promise to bring her home. He’d done the impossible before when he found her among the millions of New York citizens. He will do it again. But he needed to say it anyway.

“Even if we don’t go back, I will do anything in my power to keep you safe. But we won’t stop trying. I promise.”

They stayed close, their hands locked together to seal the promise, dropping their walls for a few hours of peace until the morning came and they had to run again.


End file.
